The morality of expectations
by Pizzapig
Summary: Sherlock isnt real just a figment of johns imagination created to help him deal with the fact that he isnt being true to who he is. One shot


Trigger warnings: for suicide and mental ilness

"John, sherlock isn't real, john listen to me, i cant take anymore of this.

Me, your wife, I'm real, our sons Hamish and Adam they are real.

But Sherlock is not real.

Are you listening to me John, Sherlock is a figment of your imagination and you have to let him go and take care of your family, we need you John, the boys need you... I ...need...you"

##~##

Sherlock had first appeared when John had turned 14. A brilliant man, smart beyond measure and extremely handsome, though a bit lacking in social skills, he didn't stick around long then, only when John was feeling lonely or ignored. At first he's parents weren't worried because they thought Sherlock was a new friend John had made, but when they hadn't met John's new friend and they had caught john talking to himself they started to get worried, eventually Sherlock started showing up more regularly, until he was a constant fixture in Johns life, this of course caused John to be shipped off to a top ranking psychiatrist and with a heavy dose of medicine caused sherlock to go away.

But periodically through John's life Sherlock would reappear whenever John was feeling down about himself or having a terrible time dealing.

The second time Sherlock made an appearance was when John was 16 and his parents caught him kissing a boy in a nightclub. His father dragged him out right then and there, embarrassing him completely and then shipped him off to a "reform school" like what he had was a disease that could be fixed. First you should know a few things about Johns parents. Johns father was a strict man ruling with a iron fist and had set morals on what was proper and how people were meant to behave, having grown up in a highly religious household himself, he now enforced the morals he was taught as a child on to his son John, so no way would he accept that his son was different, instead preferring to believe he could be fixed. Johns mother was a completely different matter, she didn't believe the idea of a proper family as much as Johns dad but was ever told from a young age to not speak out look after your husband and support him wholeheartedly on any opinion he had, no matter if he was wrong or right. So when Johns dad shipped him off to reform school she supported him on that too even if she thought maybe he wasn't right on this matter.

The third time Sherlock had made an appearance was when John was forced to subscribe to the army, due to his fathers wishes so it could "make him into a real man".

Then another time after that when he proposed to Julie.

When he married Julie

And when Hamish was born

Then Adam

So you see sherlock has been a reoccurrence throughout Johns life to help him deal with his choices he made. A filter to put all his depressing thoughts in so he wouldnt have to deal with them himself. But the thing that made Sherlock stay was when some time near his 40th birthday he was sick of pretending and decided to hook up with a guy at a bar they had had an explicit affair, and john had been very much in love, for the first time in his life. But it had come crashing down when Julie found out, he couldnt face the look on her face and was pressured to end it by his family , breaking both of everyones hearts in the process. From that day on Sherlock had come back with a gusto, everyday he was roughing it out with his family, Sherlock growing ever stronger intill he was so loud he was impossible to ignore and john lost touch with reality and John was then locked away.

But one day one of the new attendies at the hospital had been carelless and had left the door to the roof open.

Shelock had never been sinster before, but ever since john had been in that damn hospital Sherlock had gained and edge of sinisterly,a maniacal edge, prompting john to just end it all, whispering to him how easy it would be, how he wouldnt hurt anymore that he would feel all better.

So when John saw the door was open, Sherlock urged him out onto the roof, tempted him to the edge and convinced him to jump. It felt just like flying john thought, so free and no more worries or expectations, free to be whoever he wanted to be, without the pressures put on him and love whoever he wanted, "falling was just like flying" he thought "until you hit the ground and were faced with the harsh expectations of reality."


End file.
